Read its amazing!
Well all i can really say is wow...

Im so amazed by how awesome and faithful God is. How He continues to bless me and love me.

Tonight was amazing.. It was more than I had expected and so much more than I would have ever hoped for. The ending brought tears to my eyes....

I think its cause i learned and experienced that I am loved.

I was scared and really nervous at the begining cause i had been so sad today and I was afraid that would ruin it. But then Liz gave me an assuring look making me realize that this is a time for me to relax and just have fun. There were so many people and I was excited to just hang out with them all and play games. I didnt even notice that there was an entire table full of presents for Joshua. The people there were all kids from like 7-9th grade so they were young and I wasnt expecting at all for there to be presents because teens and preteens dont want to waiste what little money they have on stupid baby shower presents for someone they barely know. I mean I am there every week but I usually talk with the adults and leaders and once in a while am able to get some one on one time with the kids so we werent really too close.

We played games and ate food and cake. the kids were really hyper and wound up. I didnt make the boys stay to see me open presents so they could go play rather than listen to all the girls ohh and ahh over baby stuff. The thing about the presents was not the fact that they were amazing gifts all things i really needed but there was usually two parts to the present. One part was for the baby but then the other part was for ME! yes.. they got ME presents and not just stuff for Joshua. I never saw the mother getting any presents and it was mostly stuff they know i like... CHOCOLATE! lol I also got a bunch of other stuff too. It amazed me though because its like the presents were not only beautiful but stuff I wanted. and not just like stuff I wanted that werent like brand specific but its like if it was a teddy bear or something it was the exact teddy bear i wanted or the exact type of present I wanted or the exact stroller I wanted. it was amazing! The last present that was given to me was a card. Now the kids had lost attention so it was mostly parents and the adults around watching me open stuff and i noticed that all the kids went downstairs but i figured it was just to play more games and stuff cause thats where the YAS room is. So i opened the card and I had to read it a couple of times cause i was confused. Then I opened up a piece of paper that was inside and it was a sign up sheet that had a bunch of names on it next to numbers of the week and month. So i look up to ask Liz what it ment and i see all of the kids carrying huge packages of diapers. The church (one ive never gone to before and know no one at) had a sign up list to donate to me enough diapers to last over 6 months. So not only did I get pretty much everything i needed (i still dont have a single pacifier though), had a great time laughing and hanging out with friends, but I saw for the first time that I was really loved. that they were excited to give to me they were happy to help me and bless me. It was an amazing feeling and i just had to cry. Just seeing them there walking into the room carrying huge bags and boxes of diapers was just indescribable. This family I dont even know bought me a beautiful brand new stroller... its amazing.

God is a great God and I feel so blessed right now.